[Life Update] It’s Been a Minute
It’s been a minute. I apologize for dropping off the face of the internet. I fully intend to get back to pen blogging. There’s a lot to catch up on — pens, and life.
First of all, I’ve struggled with fiction writing over the last several months. Every time I’ve gotten started on a project, something at the Day Job has happened to keep the momentum at bay. Some stress Much of it pandemic related, or in February, weather related. So I’ve gone an found another job.
On April 25th I’ll be starting a new Day Job adventure that’s a major step up and an exciting new opportunity. I’ll miss my team but not the constant stress and work of the last two years. I’ll get to continue my advocacy work in mental health, train newer professionals, and be involved with that community. I can’t wait to start this — but it will also mess with my productivity. Fortunately, it’s going to be hybrid for a while, so I get to still work from home for a while for most of the week. I did the whole process virtually, so it was amazing to meet my new boss in person at a professional national conference last week.
I was on the Local Host Committee of that conference last week, which meant a national stage for the day job. It was a great experience. I’m looking forward to other opportunities.
Unfortunately, that experience was marred by drama in the non-profit side of my life. I was not part of the decision-making process, but I’m part of the dealing with the aftermath process. It’s been exhausting since it will paint way too many people with a very broad brush. We’ll see how that all plays out and what the consequences are. Yay…
I intend to make a full return to this blog. I’m not sure what else may be on the blog besides pen reviews, and I’m open to suggestions.
[Write the Story] The Hottest Day of the Year
The very last page of the Write the Story Journal. I’ve done every page in the journal. It’s taken longer than I anticipated or thought it would — but I have finished.
Prompt: The Hottest Day of the Year
Words: suspense, dogwood, speculate, playground, peel, avenue, moderation, classical, yummy, bluster
Story
“Where are we going?” Tessa clutched at Jon’s arm. “The suspense is killing me. That and the heat.”
“Careful! We’re going over a curb.”
“Seriously, Jon? This is getting old. I don’t want to speculate anymore. Wait, do I hear a playground? Are we on Dogwood Avenue?”
“Do you know how hard you are to surprise?”
Jon stopped an took off the blindfold, for which she was so grateful. It was over 100 degrees and it was all she could do not to peel off any more layers of clothing. Especially at a park.
“So what’s the surprise?”
“Wait for it.”
The sounds of classical children’s music filled the air as the refurbished truck came around the corner.
“Oh my! That’s a Bluster Truck! I haven’t had one of their yummy ice cream bars in…since I was a kid.”
“I know. Which is why I had this one brought out of storage and refurbished. If you can promise some moderation and not eat all our profits…”
“It’s ours?! All ours? I love it and you! And look at the line! We’re going to be rich!” She pulled him ot the truck. “Come on! It’s time for some quality control.”
Word Count: 180
Written: 11/29/2021
[Write the Story] A Wedding Reception for Hundreds of People
Prompt: A Wedding Reception with Hundreds of Guests
Words: war, nag, omit, Ramadan, downpour, vouch, loop, gridlock, allegro, Filipino
Story
“Who serves Filipino food at a wedding reception?” Heddy sniffed in her wine glass.
“How about the millions of people who live in the Philippines?” Mark glared at Heddy. “If you are going to complain and nag, why did you come?”
“It’s a family wedding. I couldn’t omit it from my social calendar. Not that anyone would notice with all these people.” Heddy said. “And who gets married this time of year?”
“They wanted to avoid Ramadan, and I think they got a deal.”
“Since when are you in the loop?” Heddy downed her wine and grabbed another glass.
“Since you’re at war with the bride’s mother. I had to vouch that you wouldn’t cause a scene.”
As the band music reached an allegro piece of music, the power went out. The reaction was instantaneous. The friends and family of the wedding couple rushed out, creating gridlock at the valet stand.
“And…there’s a downpour,” Heddy said, sniffing in derision. “This is the worst reception ever.”
“And this is why no one invites you. If you don’t stop, you can swim home.” Mark sounded tired.
“Aunt Heddy! Thank you so much for coming.” The bride beamed. “Isn’t the storm great? Rain on a wedding day is supposed to be good luck.”
Word Count: 210
Written: 11/28/2021
[Write the Story] Follow the Main Character Through a Day with NO Dialog or Direct Interactions
3/5 — only two left of this project. This is coming out a little early because… vacation. Whee!
Prompt: Follow the Main Character Through a Day with No Dialog or Direct Interaction
Words: sociopath, buzz, mend, geyser, awl, consent, diner, second-hand, vice, wane
Story
Daveed wiped the awl clean and hung it in its place above the vice. Everything clean and orderly, which calmed the buzz in his brain. The geyser of chaos was turned off at the source.
His doorbell chime startled him only until he checked the time. His meal was right on time. The diner down the street knew him. They didn’t disappoint. He set the table with second-hand dishes and cutlery. He very precisely set the food on the plate.
After eating, he methodically cleaned up the food and gathered the garbage He took the bags through the back alleys to a dumpster he had consent to use. Only a sociopath would leave refuse in his own home, right?
He returned home, noticing a small tear in the back curtain he needed to mend. No sense giving anyone undue access. His business was his. He’d worked hard to make sure any curiosity by neighbors had waned.
As darkness fell, he could relax a bit. He chose the area for the quiet. He lived for it. The streets were empty. Everyone in their homes. He could breathe now. This was his time, and it was time to make full use of it.
Word Count: 201
Written: 11/16-17/2021
[Write the Story] Old Friends Meet Over Coffee
Prompt: Old Friends Meet Over Coffee
Words: Algonquin, amazement, elm, tobacco, hiss, digress, echo, immense, quiet, opaque
Story
“How’d you find this place?” Sharon had to raise her voice over the hiss of the espresso machine.
“The Algonquin Coffee Company was on the Bucket List Top 10.” Rachel handed Sharon a bowl sized mug of frothy coffee goodness. “Follow me.”
The two wove their way through the immense coffeehouse built as a geodesic dome. The echo in the place rattled Sharon’s teeth. She breathed a sigh of relief which turned into a gasp of amazement as they headed out into a lush garden patio. They settled at a table under a mature elm. Sharon took a moment to luxuriate in the natural quiet.
“So, how are you, Rachel, it’s been what – five years?”
“Something like that. I think you’ll enjoy the latte. The milk smooths out some of the tobacco notes in the Sulewesi. And they brew it to be opaque in the cup, so it’s go some punch.”
“But you digress.” Sharon sipped the coffee. It was all Rachel said it would be.
“Do you remember the last time we met up?” Rachel sounded timid, hesitant.
“Never forget it, but five years of therapy means I don’t think about it all the time anymore. Why?”
Rachel met Sharon’s gaze, it was a haunted expression. “He’s back. He’s been trying to get in touch.”
“What? No! He’s gone! There’s no way.”
“Hello, ladies. Enjoying the coffee?”
And just like that. All Sharon’s therapy went out the window.
Word Count: 239
Written: 11/7/2021
[Write the Story] Retired Veterans Telling Their War Stories
I’m getting back to it. There are only 4 more exercises after this one. I am going to finish this project this year! I am going to.
Prompt: Retired Veterans Telling Their War Stories
Words: internment, fret, kneel, fasten, drizzle, nursery, abundantly, scarce, discourteous, grant
Story
“…We had to do everything we could to protect the nursery…”
“Flynn, we’ve heard this story a thousand times.” Jane let the last of the wind bottle drizzle into her glass. “Grant me strength.”
Flynn glared at her. “So that’s a reason to be discourteous?”
“Hey, now. We’ve made it abundantly clear that this group is a safe place. If Flynn needs to tell his story more than once, we accept that. Jane, if you need wine to face your demons, we accept that, too.”
Jane drained her glass. “Okay, Sarge, I got it. Sorry, Flynn. I was a jerk.”
“Don’t fret Jane. I know my story is just one in the War Against the Virus. Who knew we’d live to be retired old goats? Where were you?” Flynn seemed sincere.
Jane’s eyes glazed. “Internment Camp Delta. At the end, when medicine was scarce. I saw…things…I don’t like to remember.”
Sarge came to kneel before her. “You have to, Jane. It’s the only way.”
Before Jane could answer, there was a loud bang, a crash, and a high keening sound. Sarge leapt to their feet. “Make sure the windows are fastened. Block the doors. You may have all retired, but the war has come back to our doorsteps. We’re back in the fire now.”
They all scattered to follow orders.
Word Count: 220
Written: 11/3/2021
[Pen/Pencil Review] Sort of… Bic Sugar Skull 4-Color Ballpoint
Happy Dia de los Muertos to those who celebrate. This isn’t a for-real pen review blog. It’s an “I’m not dead yet” pen blog – on an appropriate day for that.
Today, as I was sorting through some stuff, I found this – a vintage 4-Color Bic Ballpoint pen in a Sugar Skull pattern that was part of a batch we got from a pen collector Jimmy know – George Fox, I believe, from Kileen. If I had remembered earlier that I had this, I would’ve been using it all last week.
I’ve started working on an edit/re-read of a project. I have some plot bunnies. The mojo is slowly seeping back in.
I also have an appointment to get a steroid shot in my neck tomorrow – because I don’t have carpal tunnel, I have squished discs in my neck – physical therapy (a lot of the same exercises and the same therapist as with my shoulder), and this shot coming up. Seriously, forget my car — where’s my extended warranty on MY BODY? Jiminy… though this is probably a cumulative effect of some car accidents I had back in the 1990s and decades of not having insurance. The Adulting is REAL, folks!!!!
I’ll be reaching my out of pocket on insurance tomorrow. Kinda wondering what else I can go get checked out.
So, finding the Dia de los Muertos pen again, bonus. It feels appropriate. Here’s hoping this is just the beginning of getting all the mojo back and getting all my crap back on track.
If you’re sticking with me, thanks. Seriously. But hey, look, it’s a blog post!
[Life] Update 2: Can I Be Real A Second?
Let down my guard and tell you how I feel a second?
Yeah, there’s not going to be any pen or short story blogs until October earliest. It’s not a good time or place right now.
Loki is declining. He’s in pain and having difficulty walking. He can’t put weight on his right, front paw. His breathing is labored more than I want to admit. He tries to be normal – wants to go on walkies and such, but he’s really slow. He can’t go far. He’s not eating as much anymore – we’re hiding his pills in gooshy food. He doesn’t jump up when we move (which he’s done since he was a puppy). We think we have about a week left with him. It’s so not an easy decision. It breaks my heart. I’m totally not ready to say goodbye. There will be little time to grieve.
FenCon is in two weeks. And now it’s just a train speeding down the track. I’m not so much as co-guiding it as hoping it doesn’t crash in a fiery ball of chaos. We have had people cancel (no harm, no foul) due to the pandemic. We may have some out-of-staters not come because of recent political decisions that half our state doesn’t agree with (no blame there). Not sure how this is going to turn out. Hoping, for my part, I’ve made good decisions. It’s been a long haul on this one. Looking forward to being “just” a division head and author guest.
We don’t have a dog sitter for Freya – and it’s going to be weird anyway because she’s never been an “only dog”. Fortunately, I am working from home for the most part so I’ll have next week and most of the week after to be home with them before and…after.
The pandemic continues to wreak havoc on EVERYTHING. Breakthrough infections. Our area is less than 60% fully vaccinated. My day job continues to be sucked into the vortex of this, hurricane season, and September being National Preparedness Month. Everyone expects my department to have all the answers to everything. But we have some new team members, so that’ll be good. Planning some time off in the next few months, so hopefully I can make brain space. So PLEASE???? PLEASE, get vaccinated. Please, wear a mask when you’re in a public place.
I started a weight loss program (yes, in the middle of chaos and stress) with one of my doctors and fired him from that last weekend because I could NOT do what he was prescribing. I went to him to begin with to make sure I didn’t have a medical reason for putting on weight (and I could’ve – one of the meds I was taking, which has been changed, can cause weight gain). I don’t. But his response and the dietician he sent me to was a super strict, restrictive, 1200 calorie/day almost no carb diet that made me cry more than once. I tried to tell them and explain my life — the answer? Carry a protein bar with you (and oh, not that one you picked, that’s bad). Um… fired. I have a complicated family history and relationship with food and this was going to put me over into disorder.
There were some good tools. I’m keeping those – kind of like with writing advice. Seeing some results. But mostly I’m not obsessing over when/what/how I can eat — which was what was making me cry and freaking me out. Trying to train myself away from judgement words. “Oh I was ‘good’ at lunch.” Or, “Oh, that was a ‘bad’ choice”. Stupid societal constructs. I have a calorie goal RANGE (and it’s not 1200).
So this is me. Raw. Uncensored. Struggling still. Hoping to see a tunnel light soon that’s not another train. Hoping I’m making all the right decisions, but probably not.
[Life] I’m Struggling
As you may have noticed, things have been quiet around here. That’s because I’m struggling. Yes, I realize that everything I’m about to mention is a First World Problem. Yes, I realize that many people have it way worse than me. Guess what? My struggles are mine, and I’m not competing with anyone else. My therapist “diagnosed” me with “Too Many Squirrels on My Plate”.
If you’ve wondered where my pen blogs and fiction blogs are? Well, I have no spoons for writing right now. My Day Job (yes, that I’m terribly grateful for) is ramping back up because of Delta Variant and Hurricane Season. We have not had a break in two years – I know because I’m the person who tells those stories. So, if you want to see me write more fiction and be more active here or in the fandom realm? Get vaccinated, mask up, social distance, and wash your hands. Just thinking about this virus and the politics around it makes me want to cry.
Lots of things make me want to cry right now. I’m making use of my shoulder surgery putting me near Insurance Out of Pocket to get some other things checked out. Including the *4* things wrong with my hands and wrists. Two of the things I can’t do anything about without major invasive surgery that the ortho doc doesn’t want to do (neither do I). Still waiting to be scheduled for my EMG (which I didn’t even know was a thing) to find out the extent of the carpal tunnel syndrome and what that treatment will entail.
REALLY should’ve gotten the Extended Warranty on my body…
Decided to do something about weight. Talked to my one doc that does that–and tried to communicate some of the challenges I have with the psychology behind weight loss. It was pretty much ignored. I meet with a dietician in about 10 days to see how to meet the doc wants that I cannot do on my own – because I’ve been trying for the last 10 days. Last week I sent my therapist a huge email about the stress I’m under about this decision.
I’m doing this even though my blood work is just fine – all in normal ranges. My blood pressure is under control. My metabolism is fine/no pre-diabetes or insulin resistance. I just don’t like the numbers on the scale. Because I’m using words like “fault” and “guilt” and freaking out over everything I eat because it all has to be tracked, journaled, and judged by someone else. I’ve already had at least one instance of “There’s no good food choice to make here, so maybe I just won’t eat” — which is NOT a good food choice.
FenCon is gearing up – and people are starting to cancel and we still have a lot of unknowns because County Judges and Governors are fighting over masks and mandates. Texas is a “personal responsibility” state. We have to move forward like it’s going to go on. We have every intention of moving forward and walking the line between caution and fun. There will be people unhappy no matter what we do. That’s just an underlying constant hum of stress.
So, I’m walking a line of exhaustion and emotional breakdown — so PLEASE, please be careful poking this bear. The Spoon Drawer is now to those tiny fancy teaspoons that no one ever really uses unless you do fancy English High Tea, and they don’t hold much.
[Write the Story] The Closing Arguments of a Big Case
Prompt: The Closing Arguments of a Big Case
Words: courtroom, wheelhouse, catapult, emit, clamp, peanut, ticket, vapor, thimble, decree
Story
“Closing arguments will begin immediately after lunch. One p.m. Everyone be ready. There will be no delays.”
The judge’s decree echoed over and over in my mind as I hovered near my boss, the ADA on the biggest criminal case in the city. She was frantically trying to squash anaphylactic shock from a peanut allergy. The EMTs were on their way.
“Get…courtroom. Go now.” She pushed her notes and bag at me. “Closing. Your wheelhouse. Go.”
I grabbed everything and ran, trying to clamp down on fear and panic. She was so good about not encountering her allergies. This was too convenient. I couldn’t let her down.
“Where is your boss?”
I told the judge the short version, keeping an eye on the defendant. “But I am ready to proceed on the County’s behalf.” The smug hope dissipated like vapor. This was it. I would catapult my way to a promotion or the unemployment line.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I am going to show how the defendant used a laser light to emit a beam to disable a security camera and a thimble to break into the case to steal millions. It was a plot worthy of a prime time movie ticket. But we have proof beyond reasonable doubt. You will have ample reason to come back with a guilty verdict. Let’s begin…”
Word Count: 224
Written: 7/11/2021