[Personal] Story Time

TL:DR — There are not blogs this week. Next week is a bit iffy. I’m having a medical procedure scheduled on Tuesday, the 14th, if the COVID test comes back negative.

The Longer Version:

In the realm of TMI, I (like 50% of American Women) have benign uterine fibroid tumors. I have 2 that are stable – I call them Bert and Ernie. One is largish with a smaller one growing off it inside my uterus that has to come out. It’s not causing a great deal of pain, but it does have a random series of other symptoms that have freaked me out from time to time, but has also been the impetus for getting off my duff and being an adult and going to doctors again. I have a great doctor who’s been with me the whole time and has chosen the safest procedure for me (because I have a gene that makes me more susceptible to blood clots) that isn’t a hysterectomy. I am confirmed menopausal so that wouldn’t have been a huge loss, but still don’t want to lose something unnecessarily.

HOWEVER… I have never had a medical procedure before, so I’m kinda freaked out by the whole idea. The pre-op procedure comes with a COVID test which is a Dang Schroedinger’s Cat of diseases. Until the test comes back you either do or you don’t have it. And this has been a bad allergy season for me along with hot flashes – so I have been playing a daily game of Pollen or Plague for the past month.

I’ll find out either tomorrow or Monday if we’re still a go for oh-dark thirty on Tuesday. I am on medical leave from work until the 20th so I have time to heal up and de-stress from the day job. Just hoping the labs they took – which included a chest x-ray and an EKG doesn’t show anything other than pollen-related allergy congestion and we can do this thing as scheduled. My brain could handle the delay for all the logical reasons, but my emotions couldn’t take it.

I’m a definite worrier. Health issues are one of my anxiety triggers. I am a professional creative – I am a World Freakin’ Class “What If-er”. And NO ONE wins the What If Game. My Day Job had already turned me into a stress ball, and add this on top of it. There’s been freaking out to the point my therapist told me to call my PCP and get a prescription for a few Xanax or Buspar because I “have been wigging out over my procedure”. I did that. I haven’t taken any yet because I am still hesitant, but it’s nice to know it’s an option.

So, until at least Tuesday, Jimmy and I are hermits in at home. And I’m looking forward to my recovery time to also decompress from the job and procedure.